oh dear lord

Battlefield Earth

So I know you still check this sometimes, and we are apart again, so I am posting something here. Something important. I just found out about the movie Battlefield Earth. Yeah, I know. I can't really compose my thoughts into something coherent, so here is a bunch of hilarious nonsense.

Travolta described the book in interviews as "like Pulp Fiction for the year 3000" and "like Star Wars, only better"

After learning the Psychlo's language, history, and a myriad of other educational forms from the rapid learning machine, Jonnie plots a human uprising against the Psychlos.

According to Bill Mechanic, the former head of Twentieth Century Fox, "John wanted me to make Battlefield Earth. He had Scientologists all over me. They come up to you and they know who you are. And they go, 'We're really excited about Battlefield Earth'." This did not impress Mechanic: "Do you think in any way, shape, or form that weirding me out is going to make me want to make this movie?"

Battlefield Earth was a major commercial failure and critical flop and has been widely dismissed as one of the worst films ever made.

Basically, John Travolta adapted an L. Ron Hubbard book into the worst movie ever. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am crazy about L. Ron Hubbard. Look at him. He's all...orange...and dapper. He's, like, my favorite fraud. I had to read a book about LA (City of Quartz by Mike Davis) for a class, and there was a chapter devoted to Scientology. It was basically L. Ron Hubbard trying to dupe people into giving him money. It was hilarious, mostly because he never gave up (after some pretty epic failures) and eventually succeeded. In making a religion. And cash. It's just like that old saying: if at first you don't succeed, make yourself a god.

Anyway, my plan is to get so drunk and watch this movie.

-Lauren