oh dear lord

Battlefield Earth

So I know you still check this sometimes, and we are apart again, so I am posting something here. Something important. I just found out about the movie Battlefield Earth. Yeah, I know. I can't really compose my thoughts into something coherent, so here is a bunch of hilarious nonsense.

Travolta described the book in interviews as "like Pulp Fiction for the year 3000" and "like Star Wars, only better"

After learning the Psychlo's language, history, and a myriad of other educational forms from the rapid learning machine, Jonnie plots a human uprising against the Psychlos.

According to Bill Mechanic, the former head of Twentieth Century Fox, "John wanted me to make Battlefield Earth. He had Scientologists all over me. They come up to you and they know who you are. And they go, 'We're really excited about Battlefield Earth'." This did not impress Mechanic: "Do you think in any way, shape, or form that weirding me out is going to make me want to make this movie?"

Battlefield Earth was a major commercial failure and critical flop and has been widely dismissed as one of the worst films ever made.

Basically, John Travolta adapted an L. Ron Hubbard book into the worst movie ever. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am crazy about L. Ron Hubbard. Look at him. He's all...orange...and dapper. He's, like, my favorite fraud. I had to read a book about LA (City of Quartz by Mike Davis) for a class, and there was a chapter devoted to Scientology. It was basically L. Ron Hubbard trying to dupe people into giving him money. It was hilarious, mostly because he never gave up (after some pretty epic failures) and eventually succeeded. In making a religion. And cash. It's just like that old saying: if at first you don't succeed, make yourself a god.

Anyway, my plan is to get so drunk and watch this movie.

-Lauren

Happy Mother's Day!

I am still sick, but I am going to attempt to drive a car today. This should be interesting considering how foggy-headed I am right now. I might as well drink a bit before I go just for good measure.

Anyway, you will be home tomorrow!!!!! Woah!

You should come and visit, but you should wait to see me until I stop being all swine plague-y. Sorry, H1B1 or whatever they've changed the name to.

I am done with all my classes on Wednesday! Hooray! Then I will be free for big nights out and such, and I should stop being so sick.

Save travels! See you soon!
Lauren

100th Post: I am an idiot.

I AM SO STUPID. I AM SO SO SO SO STUPID.

LIKE, REALLY STUPID.

LIKE, REALLY FUCKING STUPID.

I WILL BE ABLE TO LAUGH ABOUT THIS ONE DAY. MAYBE. IT JUST REALLY DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW.

LIKE, I FEEL SICK.

go on smile, you cunt.

Haahahhaa. I had to post this because of the description that the woman who posted it wrote. It says "My fav. movie. I don't like the ending of the movie, but this scene is so cute." I find that statement ridiculous in so many ways. I really can't stop laughing at it.

It's awesome. The ending is awesome.



+10 for the use of "cunt"

No. Fuck all that.

I can't stop loving it.

HOLY FUCK

I WAS SO RIGHT TO TRUST PITCHFORK. I SPENT THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS PRAYING THAT THEY WOULD ADD FRIGHTENED RABBIT TO THE LINE-UP, NEVER FULLY BELIEVING THAT THEY WOULD. THEY DID. THEY FUCKING DID. AND BEIRUT. AND I CAN'T STOP RUNNING AROUND MY ROOM LAUGHING AND IF THIS KEEPS UP I WILL VOMIT BUT I AM SO HAPPY AND THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD BANDS AND MY LIFE IS AWESOME.

-Lauren

God Help The Girl

I forgot to mention that Stuart Murdoch has this great side project called "God Help The Girl." It's pretty good...or it seems pretty good based on the one song ("Come Monday Night") that is available now. I can't wait to hear the rest of it. I mean, it's Stuart Murdoch; there's no way that this is not going to be totally awesome.





Enjoy!
Lauren

David Lynch is wonderful

I love him. I love the apple music someone added. I love the way he says "fuck."

I completely agree with everything he says, especially this:



...and I love his face at the end.

I have a cold and a bunch of things to do today, but this is all I've been doing for the half hour that I've been awake. I slept from 5-9 last night and then from midnight to noon. I am feeling slightly better and hopefully all this sleep will help my body fight off the plague. Anyway, one day I am going to bake a pie for David Lynch. The end.

-Lauren

post-exam activities and a random picture

Today was the last day of classes. I took my third exam, which means I only have three more to go. I kind of want to go out an celebrate another class finished, but I am tres tired and have some sort of mailing thing tomorrow for this internship I applied for. I'm not 100% on this, but I think a mailing is just stuffing envelopes. I'm not sure if I even got the internship. It's all really confusing. As soon as I gave the application in, he told me about this mailing thing, so either I got it right away--which would be nice because I know the professor in charge of it and maybe this means he likes me--or I didn't get it and he wants some free labor before dashing my hopes. Wow, check out that sentence. The internship is with the NJ Film Festival, and, the way I understand it, we would just operate projectors and pick the movies that they are going to screen during the year. It sounds awesome. I really want to get it. I really hope I got it. I guess I will know tomorrow? Maybe?

I am dicking around on imeem. I made the account so I could post that song I made for Ben, and I am deciding whether or not I like it. I don't think I do. It seems like they are trying too hard to be last.fm. I remember seeing imeem stuff at Pitchfork last summer. They had these fans with a hipster scavenger hunt on it. It was pretty funny and was kind of really great marketing. The actual site is not as awesome. They promote shitty pop and rap acts, which don't really need to be promoted in the first place. It's also a really shitty site to navigate. It's just a more obnoxious and less user friendly last.fm. I will keep messing around with it, maybe I have it wrong. I doubt it, though.

-Lauren

friday night.

mattd
I'm listening to the Contact soundtrack and chatting up random people on Omegle
mattd
and I just lost an online poker game
mattd
this is my Friday night
Lauren
haha
Lauren
I cleaned my room
Lauren
and drank alone
Lauren
and looked at pictures of Ian Curtis
Lauren
and stared at my wall
mattd
wow
mattd
that is sad

more Norman Dubie--the last stanza is always the best.

Confession

for Hank

by Norman Dubie

The General’s men sit at the door. Her eyes

Are fat with belladonna. She’s naked

Except for the small painted turtles

That are drinking a flammable cloud

Of rum and milk from her navel.

The ships out in the harbor

Are loosely allied

Like casks floating in bilge.

The occasional light on a ship

Winks. In the empty room of the manuscript

Someone is grooming you

For the long entrance into the dark city.

They’ll hang the General.

Then with torches they’ll search for his children.

Men and women

Are seen jumping from the burning hotel.

Journalists, in no hurry,

Elect to take the elevator. They walk

Out of the building, stepping over corpses. . .

You are listening to loud bells.

The corpses get up and follow the journalists.

It’s unfair that while rehearsing

For death they actually succumbed to it.

But no one sobs.

Shirts and dresses billowing as they fall.

Something inhuman in you watched it all.

And whatever it is that watches,

It has kept you from loneliness like a mob.

I am really digging this right now.

What we can't talk about we pass over in silence.

When I had that internship, I used to listen to this song on the train back from New York City every night. It was the second song I put on. The first one was just filler; I would listen to it as everyone was boarding and as we started slowly moving. It was typically whatever song was stuck in my head that day. Then, I would play this song. I would time it just right so that it played when we started picking up speed, and we would always burst out of the tunnel just as the violins really started and all the lights would flash all at once as we left the tunnel and it always made whatever terrible day I had completely worth it. It's funny, I hadn't thought about it in a while; I guess because I haven't been taking any trains lately. The other night I realized it is a good nighttime bicycle song. I played it in my head as AJ and I rode his tandem through New Brunswick. This weather is beautiful. I have two exams and a paper due today but I can't even be stressed about them.

ben sux vol ii

I QUESTION YOUR PASSWORD - t bozz

I made this song in response to Ben making our wireless password "Ben Rocks." I feel it's a post-modern take on the misconception of "music," and also addresses our wasteful consumer society. It's art, is what it is.

like this

GENERAL STERLING PRICE DIED??????

Surprising Texts

So I had just finished my post-paper nap yesterday, and I woke up to a text message from Steevo. I don't really talk to him often, so I was surprised to see that it was from him. Here I will recount the texts, as I have saved them all:

Steevo: do you know that you're in the virtual tour at efes website?
Lauren: haha creepy. I don't think I like that.
Steevo: my buddy was telling me I have to try it so I went on the site and there you were...now everyone will think you're mediterranean

So I checked it out and it is, in fact, a photo of Matt and I eating. My mouth is, like, as open as it can be.

So I texted Matt:

Lauren: We are in the virtual tour of Efes in New Brunswick.
Matt: What is Efes?
Lauren: We went there to eat once.
Matt: Why are you in a tour of it?
Lauren: You're there, too. This kid I knew texted me to tell me. He was trying to order food.
Matt: How do I find this place?
Lauren: Google Efes New Brunswick.
Matt: There is is.
Lauren: Least flattering photo ever.
Matt: Best photo ever.
Lauren: Haha it's so awkward. How did we not know that was taken?
Matt: No idea. Now we are permanently bound together by a mediterranean grill virtual tour, how romantic.



Anyways, I am saving the text that started it all forever because it makes me laugh because it was the last text message I was ever expecting. I am never going to send a "hey sup @ tonight" text ever again.

General Sterling Price

General Sterling Price died today. Or yesterday, I'm not sure. I cried a little bit when Ben and I found him, and then we buried him in the yard. I keep expecting to see him. It's very sad.

My Dear Friend, David

Whenever I have to pull an all-nighter I reach for Bowie and, typically, listen to his entire collection. Twice. For some reason, it is the perfect music to write a paper to. I guess because it keeps me awake.

It's nice to know that, no matter how arduous the paper, David Bowie will be right there with me.

Crate Diggers?

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. Ben and I went to a record sale in the morning and dug through bins for hours finding fantastic records. There were some really really amazing records there, but many of them were very expensive. They had Leonard Cohen's Songs of Love and Hate, but it was $35. There was another Leonard Cohen album I had never heard of for $5, but Ben and I flipped a coin for it and he won. While we were flipping the coin, this guy came over and told us that he was making a photo documentary about "crate diggers" or something. He took our pictures and it was kind of awkward, but he seemed very nice. I'll post more about that along with a list of all the albums I got later, right now I need to hurry up and write this paper.

-Lauren

Susan Boyle

At this rate, Susan Boyle has probably reached Russia. Right now, in America, everyone is losing their shit over her. She's unattractive yet still (miraculously!) talented. I don't know, the whole thing seems gross to me, but I was really happy when she showed that rude eye roll girl what's up.

Anyway, all the YouTube videos have embedding disabled, so just follow this link.

She's 47, lives with her cat (Pebbles), and has never been kissed. Ben googled her and, apparently, her brain was starved of oxygen when she was a baby, so she is legally learning disabled. Or something. I don't know.

She's already received one makeover, and my guess is there will be countless others.

Anyway, that is the only thing you are missing in New Jersey. It's term paper time, and I am going to watch a movie about volcanoes tonight on the lawn by passion puddle and then maybe go to this show on Hamilton.

Have fun in Russia!

Svedka,
Lauren

PS- My hamster's foot fell off. I think it has rabies.

today I feel...

...a lot like this song sounds.




-Lauren

venture brothers

I love this show. I wish I had a TV/could afford cable just so I could watch it. I really like 21 and 24, too.



-Lauren

snl mentins new brunswick!

-Lauren

this week

:(

Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks came on shuffle today, and I had to post something. I really like it when he says, "eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's undying love." The rest is good, too. He's so funny.

-Lauren

skin care

I love the Go-Betweens

I didn't actually watch this video, but I am going to assume that the quality is okay because I am lazy.

-Lauren

to make up for all the downers

Madeline!

This song is on her new album and it is sooooooooooooooooooo good.

fml

ugh 13 pages. And only a couple lines on page 13.

Progress

I am now on page 7. That is single spaced. I am trying to wait as long as possible to double space it. I don't want to bank on it being 14 pages, though. What if it isn't? What if I'm still on page 12?

It took me ages to write two pages today. Mostly because I have exhausted all the notes I took during the week and now I have to dig through stacks of books on Music in Restoration Drama to find something appropriate. The worst part about this is my paper was pretty interesting when it was five pages. Now I am just adding mundane details about the "curtain tune" and other painfully boring things and I don't know if anyone will be able to stay awake long enough to proof it for me. Snoozefest.

Also, I wasn't sure for a while, but I am almost positive I have been hallucinating for the last couple hours. I thought maybe I was just bored when the spaces between the words in my books began to look like shapes that might be kittens if I squint at just the right angle, but now I am positive. I tried looking at the cans of spray paint on my desk and there was little waves coming out of it. It's like in the summer when the asphalt gets really hot and makes those heat waves. I have learned to deal with it, though. I just don't look at any one thing for too long. I feel kind of awful. This is definitely happening because I have been up for the past two days straight just staring at a computer screen. My eyes are very unhappy, so they are making everything go all wobbly. My poor eyes. They just want to shut. Just for a little bit. They haven't been shut since Friday at 8 am.

Tonight. I will sleep tonight.

Wreak havoc.

I just got home from a work meeting after not sleeping at all. No winks. Not even a tiny one. My eyes were glued open and fixed on a computer screen all night. Anyway, the meeting was lots of fun and everyone says they are very excited for you to come back. It went from 8:30-10:30, but we spent most of the time talking and laughing and it was lots and lots of fun. I enjoyed it despite my total lack of sleep and the ever-present threat of vomit that my throat was screaming at me when I so much as thought about eating; none of it mattered because I was so busy laughing too loud. It's really neat to be able to work with so many cool girls. You need to come back soon and tell stories and laugh with us.

My jaw has been clenched shut for hours and hours, and it is making my head hurt. I am going to drink a ton of water and hope for the best. I still have a lot more pages to write, so I can't really sleep. My body hates me. I don't think I had any other options, though. There is no way I can get all my work done and sleep. It looks like I will just have to be awake for two days straight.

Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

young ones

tons of posts today

love it.

Best.

-Lauren

Rik

I know I've never mentioned this, but I've kind of been enamored with Rik Mayall for a while now. I think I was reminded by the fact that Tent State is rapidly approaching and all those cunts are parading about talking about their socialist reading circles while preparing to sit around and smoke weed in the quad for a week and just generally do fuck all to end war except whinge about how uncool it is.



Lauren

sarah newnewnew haskins

I was going to post the newest one, but it's not working and it's not on youtube. You have to go to current.com to check it out.

Lauren

The Indie-est Movie Ever.

The Dirty Garage - watch more funny videos

-Lauren

hair.

the modern

I am posting this for the dancing. It is so good. It's nice to know that even beautiful girls are as awkward as I am.

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The 60th Post

To be honest, I really didn't think the blog would last this long.

New Brunswick was beautiful today. You would have loved it. I picked an especially gnarly tree to sit under and got a lot of reading done. It was lovely.

I have a ton of work to do for the next million years, but I am making time to ride bicycles tomorrow no matter what.

Inventory at seven tomorrow morning. That is something I bet you do not miss.

-Lauren

how uncouth

KillTheseDreams
yeah well I went home to jerk off thinking of you in that wet dress
Lauren
so
Lauren
standard Friday night, then?

I love helping AJ piece together his nights.

aj: so apparently i went back to that party?
Lauren: you did? how did you do that? you sounded wasted
aj: maybe i didn't?
Lauren: when I talked to you I was trying to get you to go to the ale n wich, but you were really drunk and it sounded like you were going to pass out
aj: well i think i did then. ian said you said that i took you to the party on my tandem
Lauren: hhahahahaha, yes. oh man. I didn't realize mthat you would forget that part. yeah, okay. here is what happened: I showed up and you were on the porch and I gave you red bull and vodka and ran inside and spilled my drink all over me and then Scott and I went outside to smoke a cigarette cause Ian was getting dressed and you were talking to Leah and then you and I rode the bicycle built for two to the party.
aj: that much i recall, not that though.
Lauren: hahahaha, I was terrified
aj: did i go back into the party?
Lauren: no
aj: good
Lauren: you went to make a deal, and you were going to come back
aj: oh
Lauren: but you must have passed out
aj: haha sounds about right. k as long as i didn't go inside and embarass myself
Lauren: no, you're good. someone took our picture on the bike
aj: haha nice

Summary

I went out last night for the first time in ages (despite my promise to boycott the world). I am a walking disaster. I sat down in Ian's room and promptly spilled my very large nalgene-esque container of Red Bull and vodka down the front of my dress. Then we went to this art show. Drunk AJ and I rode a bicycle built for two there, which was as fun as it was terrifying. We arrived at the show in style and AJ mysteriously disappeared. I would later find out that he had gone home and passed out on his couch because he was too drunk to function. Luckily, I could only suspect this on the way over. Ian, Kat, and Jenn had gone on a liquor run but got back around the time I arrived (and my dress dried). I saw your friend Jim, who remembered my "disturbing" drawings. I think I went bright red when he said this, but I am nearly positive that nobody saw due to the decidedly "college" lighting. I stayed at that party long enough to see Kat and Jenn's pieces, get a bit drunk and listen to two bands. After that, I walked over to the Wich and had a Mississippi Mud with Ian, which put me in a lovely state. Maybe too lovely because I accidentally broke a glass and felt absolutely awful about it. I can't remember what else I broke, but there are definitely other things.

You would have had a wonderful time. I know Russia is awesome, but you better hurry back, pronto, because spring is coming and everything is looking up in New Brunswick.

Now I have to run to work and then bury myself in books for the rest of the weekend.

-Lauren

While I'm at it...

...here are some more poems I like.

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

-Philip Larkin


Errata

Where it says snow
read teeth-marks of a virgin
Where it says knife read
you passed through my bones
like a police-whistle
Where it says table read horse
Where it says horse read my migrant's bundle
Apples are to remain apples
Each time a hat appears
think of Isaac Newton
reading the Old Testament
Remove all periods
They are scars made by words
I couldn't bring myself to say
Put a finger over each sunrise
it will blind you otherwise
That damn ant is still stirring
Will there be time left to list
all errors to replace
all hands guns owls plates
all cigars ponds woods and reach
that beer-bottle my greatest mistake
the word I allowed to be written
when I should have shouted
her name

-Charles Simic


The Funeral

It felt like the zero in brook ice.
She was my youngest aunt; the summer before
We had stood naked
While she stiffened and giggled, letting the minnows
Nibble at her toes. I was almost four—
That evening she took me
To the springhouse where on the scoured planks
There were rows of butter in small bricks, a mold
Like ermine on the cheese,
And cut onions to rinse the air
Of the black, sickly-sweet meats of rotting pecans.

She said butter was colored with marigolds
Plucked down by the marsh
With its tall grass and miner’s-candles.
We once carried the offal’s pail beyond the barn
To where the fox could be caught in meditation.
Her bed linen smelled of camphor. We went

In late March for her burial. I heard the men talk.
I saw the minnows nibble at her toe.
And Uncle Peter, in a low voice, said
The cancer ate her like horse piss eats deep snow.

-Normal Dubie

Matthew Arnold

I stayed up until 3 am (even though I was opening the store this morning) thinking:

The sea is calm to-night.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the Aegean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

That's where my head's been lately, I guess.

-Lauren

Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?

I just watched 2001: A Space Odyssey for the first time ever. Boy, do they mean it when they say "Odyssey." It was so long.

If it ended with the HAL "Dave, I'm afraid" thing, it would have been my favorite movie of all time. As it is, the ending made me laugh out loud in the middle of my American Directors class. I tried disguising my laughter as a cough, but I could tell that all the snobby film majors were scoffing and already muttering under their breath about the girl two rows back laughing hysterically.

There are about forty kids in that class. Thirty showed up. There were nine of us at the end of the film.

The end is a twenty minute sequence that strongly resembles my fifth grade trapper keeper, and then everything stops making sense. Throw a fetus in there and FIN.

I really liked everything up to that point, though. Loved, even.

Stay fly,
Lauren

Edit: Alright, so I guess the ending was awesome, too. I guess the whole thing was awesome. I just didn't expect experimental film at the end is all.

lovely. loveliest.

Literal Version

-Lauren

Virginia

My spring break was very un-spring break-y. I guess because it started with me taking the GRE's and running back to New Brunswick where we all packed into AJ's car and drove for nine hours.

Once we got to Virginia we just kind of fell asleep. We are getting old.

The next morning I woke up before everyone else, so I sat wrapped in a blanket on the porch reading until they got up.

Then it got more spring break-y, I guess. We drank most of the day and sat around talking and laughing. We walked around and went to a winery at some point, too, but it was all pretty tame.

I am making it sound like it wasn't any fun. It was. I really enjoyed it. I think we all enjoyed it for different reasons than, say, the Cabo set enjoyed theirs. We all kind of had something we wanted to get away from, and we all just wanted to relax. We definitely did that; we usually went until 2:00 every day without knowing the time. It was quite nice, and I think it was a break that we all needed.

Anyway, I've already talked way too much. Here is what it looked like:











-Lauren

Dance Fail (s)

-Lauren

Hey Girl...

There is this blog called Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling that has been making me laugh all morning. Basically, it lets you explore what your life would be like if you were dating Ryan Gosling and he said "Hey Girl" all the time.

Also, I have created a Twitter account (despite being totally anti-twitter) solely to follow Christopher Walken.



This blog has basically become an account of my favorite stories from Jezebel.

-Lauren

lolbook.nu

So there is this place where hipsters go when they want to indulge their uncontrollable narcissism. It is called Lookbook. It's the most obnoxious thing ever and DON'T THE HIPSTERS JUST LOVE IT. They take pictures like this:

Well, someone awesome created lolbook.nu and it makes me laugh on the reg.

It's always delightful to see hipsters taken down a peg.

-Lauren

details

I know this isn't particularly interesting, but I haven't posted in a while so I am going to tell you anyway. I just got the text message "Finish this phrase: Car, car, c-a-r..."

It's "stick your head in a jelly jar," no?

-Lauren

Happy Thursday!

...and the top ten naked people on google earth.

Lovelovelove,
Lauren

ps-

You don't have a name and I don't either. Not one name.

Man, I haven't posted here in a while. Here is what I have been doing and such:

01. Watching too much Last Tango in Paris (see title).

02. Watching too much Harry Hill.

03. Becoming the owner of the best necklace ever.

04. Wearing heinous tights.

05. Playing with General Sterling Price, who has recently given up mauling my hand whenever I touch him.

06. Studying like crazy.
07. Gift buying and card making for Ian's birthday (which was lots of fun, by the way). Imagine all these facing the right way.



I got him a Texas shaped clock, a photo of an old guy with a guitar from a Russian church that had closed, a lamp (chandelier, really) that looks like a basketball in a hoop (with net!), and the soundtrack to Beaches (on tape). Basically, I give the best gifts ever.

Anyways, stay cool (get it, cause it's cold in Russia? Ha! Get it?),
Lauren

like

i like this song. i like this video.

Grapevine Fires

my friend sent me this

and I had to post it.

Just like BudaBar. Only with less crazy racists.

-Lauren

my newest love.

How did I miss this for so long?

-Lauren

more cats.

I like this cat. He's all "sup?"

-Lauren

you missed out!

We had a "Henna Head" party at work yesterday and it was super neat. Well, I was closing so I got in after it was over, but Zahra stuck around to henna my hand because she is awesome. Check it!



Pardon my appearance, I was writing a paper in my frigid room. I am wearing three sweaters!

-Lauren

PS- Everyone at Lush misses you! Also, today at work was, like, bring your adorable child to the mall day. There were so many ridiculously cute kids.

the game of life.

-Lauren

Joel.

Just another Thursday in Suburbia.



Just your average middle-aged dad.


-Lauren

Ugh.

I am hungover and my radiator sounds like it is trying to connect to AOL in 1993.

My head is going to explode. I am sure of it.

-Lauren

nostalgia.

I am sitting in my room listening to the neighbors fight. Do you remember when I lived on Guilden Street? My neighbors always fought there, too. Must be a New Brunswick thing. Guilden Street was insane, but it was fun, too. I remember when Ian would come over and we would sit in my room and watch TV through my neighbor's window. We'd have to make up the voices on our own. It was always so much better than actually watching TV. I have been so nostalgic lately. I guess I have to be because I've not actually left the house much lately. I go to class and screenings and I went to the bar on Valentine's Day, but I haven't seen all those kids we hung out with (okay, AJ) in weeks and weeks, so I've been getting by just remembering. As soon as I see everyone I will tell stories about the good old days hanging out with you. Put my (terminal) nostalgia to use. I will talk about that night we decided my shoes looked like alligators and doing tequila shots with your mom and when just hanging out was a bit more interesting because you were around.

Anyways, my windows are thin and the heat here never works and it is a particularly cold night in New Brunswick, so I am an icicle. I am going to get under the covers before I freeze to death.

Night!
Lauren

philosophical message

from the bathroom stall.


-0joye2

-0joye

kittens

Holy shit.

-Lauren

kidz are so small

Full story here. I can't stop laughing, but it's also kind of terrifying. The bit about the judge is particularly funny.

-Lauren

this is what would happen

...if I had a tv show.



aaaaaaaaaaand Bear Grylls




-Lauren

on valentines day

i rearended an asian woman. she is an insurance agent.

on valentine's day

I saw:




And it was awesome.

-Lauren

CLAPPING MUSIC

so this is what we're doing in ear training. the technique is called phasing, and was written by Steve Reich in 1972. what happens is one person claps the top line constantly, while the other person switches the beat forward by an 1/8 note every 4 bars. its. awesome.

How Stuff Works

super.f00dz.

shall we?















-joey

all kids should always be high.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

-Lauren

Reads like the Book of Revelations or the Celestine Prophecies.

I just had the absolute filthiest dream about Robert Downey Jr.

He owned a room at the bottom of the Tower of Terror. I will leave the violence and smut out because I am a lady.

-Lauren

what you aren't missing

-Lauren

timothy leary

how to operate your brain






joey

last night...

...we drank this much:


Femi was DJing at this bar in Linden, so we decided to stop by. It was a nice bar (not as good as the Wich, but what is, really?). For some reason 99% of the people there were Eastern European, and they were all the best people ever...or maybe we were just feeling extra receptive to new people because drinks were so cheap (I spent $10 the entire night and I was in a lovely state). Anyways, some guy with the most Italian name I have ever heard outside of a movie (he claimed he worked for the FBI) was chatting up every girl in his line of vision and bought us tons of drinks and strange boys were handing me shots (sorry, mom), and everyone was having a great time. You would have loved it.